


Lost pet

by DimensionSponge



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Gen, Jem’hadar chase small animals for some reason, Maybe they were low on drugs, Quark falls over, Someone’s pet gets in Dukat’s hair, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 17:20:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20295169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DimensionSponge/pseuds/DimensionSponge
Summary: I feel validated by that section of the show where the main characters are continually going through serious dominion stuff so they resort to making the villains into the comic relief.This is about a hundred times sillier.





	Lost pet

Dukat emerged onto the Promenade after a long and tiring meeting, only to discover chaos. For some strange reason, a bunch of Jem’hadar (and one Cardassian) were running around in Quark’s. Some Cardassians were hiding out of the way in corners, while others were milling around outside glancing cautiously at the bar. Quark himself was standing on the bar screaming. A Jem’hadar dove over the bar and knocked Quark to the ground.

What the devil is going on?

Dukat strode into Quark’s to investigate. The second the door opened, a four-eyed mole sloth shot out and climbed up him.  
Three Jem’hadar locked eyes on him. They must have been chasing it, he realised. And now it’s on me. They pounced, and he had no choice but to run for it.

He sprinted down the Promenade towards the nearest turbolift, three Jem’hadar on his heels. He could hear snickering as he desperately mashed the button. As the door opened he ran smack into Damar. 

“What-?”

“CLOSE IT! CLOSE THE DOOR!”

After some kicking of Jem’hadar away from the doors, the turbolift closed and they were safe, albeit sprawled on the floor. Dukat sat up, panting and fuming.

“Sir, why is there a mole-sloth on your head?”

“I don’t know.”

They rode the turbolift in silence the rest of the way. When it opened, they collected themselves, and Dukat made sure to glare at everyone in the room who was clearly failing to not laugh.

He stomped into his office and sighed, plonking his head on the desk. The mole-sloth dislodged. He broadcast a message.

“Would whoever started that mess on the promenade come to my office. You know who you are.”

He didn’t actually know if they knew who they were, but he was saved from having to make a repeat announcement when a few minutes later, the culprit arrived. It was Lecet, the Cardassian that had been among those running around in the bar. 

“Explain this,” Dukat said, gesturing to the mole-sloth on his desk, who was now grooming its claws. 

Lecet’s dour face lit up.  
“You found him! I lost him in Quark’s and I thought the Jem’hadar were going to get him. You know how they are.”

“So this is your pet.”

“Yes, someone was fixing the replicator in my quarters and left the door open. He’s a lot faster than he looks.”

“Well, take it away before it makes a nest in my hair.”

Lecet left with the mole-sloth, beaming. Dukat was seriously considering banning pets.

**Author's Note:**

> Just imagine the mole-sloth running from the room like that one softshell turtle on youtube


End file.
